Monday, December 19, 2005

Fat Asses

Ok, I didn't say anything when Taco Bell started accepting Visa. I didn't say anything when Pizza Hut came out with a credit card of their own. But now McDonald's has their own Credit Card. How fat are we that we need to put our fast food on a credit card. What person eats so much McDonald's that they need to get a credit card for the sole purpose of financing their unhealthy eating habits. I eat too much fast food as it is and I probably only get it once or twice a week. At no point am I so hard up for a Big Mac that I need to buy one despite having the funds to make this already rediculous purchase. If I don't have the three dollars, I have bigger problems than satisfying my saturated fat craving. What has the world come to?! Are we so fat and unhealthy that we need to put our burgers on layaway? Next thing you know we will be selling our valuables just to get some french fries and a Whopper. Honestly.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Spaghetti Monster

Spaghetti Monster

Sunday, November 27, 2005

The things you own...

Having a money (albiet a modest amount) sucks. When I was scraping together rent money by playing poker and selling stuff on ebay, I didn't really have anything left to buy anything else except maybe some beer. Now I have some spare cash and I still have no money. On top of rent and other crap, I just spend my money on a bunch of junk that I don't really need. I shouldn't be allowed to have money. I'm going to try and spend some loot on buying real Christmas presents this year. Maybe that will stop me form buying the GIJoe with the Kung Fu grip for my self.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


I am just returned from a very cold night at the Glass Bowl. The game is still going on, but when I left, Toledo was up by 7. Now I don't know what is going on since Toledo is losing by 7. The point that I really want to drive home at this point is where I tailgated tonight. It is like a milestone for me because this is the first game I have been to since I graduated. I sat in the alumni section and tailgated in lot 10 instead of fraternity row or Rocket Hall. Nate called wanting to come tailgate with us but I knew that he had been partying since noon and he sounded like it when he called me. In the interest of saving any chance that Nate has of getting in good with my boss, I am glad that he never made his way to the tailgate. Nate was faced... he called me Bill. I hope that I did him a favor, but only time will tell. It looks like NIU is about to score again so I am going to go hang myself since it is now official that every sports team that I root for loses clutch games. I am just going to have to go play and show them how it's done because obviously me not playing is only hurting these teams.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


There are a few stores out there that I can't believe haven't gotten a visit from the EPA or some other environmental agency. Hav you seen the size of receipts lately?! I went to Circuit City the other day to buy a cable for my computer. I'm talking about a small piece of cord that cost $4.87. The receipt was as long as my arm. That is rediculous. I can't even put it in my wallet because it is so wide too! Best Buy is guilty and so is Kroger. I bought a thank you card there yesterday and I couldn't have used the receipt as the envelope. I could go on and rant about how uneccesary that is.. so I will. What the hell ar they thinking? What business practice tells these companies that it is cost efficient to waste that much money on paper and ink. I mean think about it, nationwide, how many Circuit City's are there, and everyday each store makes probably hundreds of transactions, how much paper is wasted everyday? If you add up all the costs for paper, ink, and medical bills for employees that get punched in the face, that has to be a lot of money. Did they just decide that they were making too much money and needed to spend some of it on unecccesarily large receipts? Seriously, I would like to know.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Happy Birthday to Me

It is 7:00 on a Thursday and I have a little jag on. Hopefully to be followed by a big jag tomorrow night. The new BW3 down the street is pretty fun although it is a little noisy. I would spend more time there but there doesn't appear to be darts let alone room to move around. Either way, good times.

Monday, October 31, 2005

My new list

My list of things to accomplish before 2006:

- Sleep for 8 full hours
- Work an 8 hour day or less
- Learn how to play Bocce Ball
- Become the World Bocce Ball Champion
- Use newfound fame to get women

Monday, October 24, 2005

PC Load Letter?!

I found myself laughing today when I was actually having a day straight out of Office Space. I was making a copy of something today when the copier jammed. I spent about 15 minutes on my hands and knees trying to figure out what the hell was going on. I finally figure it out and then it jams again. I tried once again and the damn thing jammed again. So, I pulled out the paper and went up to the laser copier to use that instead. That thing is so damn complicated I barely figured out where the start button was, but I got it. There must have been something in the buffer because what I copied wasn't what came out. So I pushed a bunch of buttons seemingly at random and then I got the same thing coming out as before only this time it was 2 of them back-to-back and stapled together. At this point I was livid. Just as I was about to actually kick the copy machine, the Administrative Assistant came in and showed me what I was doing wrong. Afterwards, I had to laugh at how much that ressembled Michael Bolton's outrage. Work is fun...

Monday, October 17, 2005


I know this is obvious and doesn't need to be brought up or discussed but I need to get it off my chest. North Toledo is full of idiots. The stupid riots were exactly what the neo nazi activists wanted to happen. If you try to take a moment to objectively look at what actually happened over the weekend (cutting into the first quarter of the Michigan vs. Penn State game mind you), the neo nazi's did nothing illegal. Now don't get all riled up, I'm not saying that I agree with their philosophy or that the "march" neccessarily should have happened. But they didn't even need to march. All they did was show up and then take off, being smuggly pleased with themselves all the way back to the Otto Niemeyer museum. And what happened then??? People decided that it was a good idea to burn down a local watering hole that has been in business for 20 years... What the hell sense does that make?! That is like me saying, "I'm hungry so I think I'll paint my house."... Ok, maybe it's nothing like that... well, maybe... whatever. Either way, the activists accomplished exactly what they wanted to do and, actually, did it lawfully, despite the absurdity of their beliefs. As for the store owner that had his business mindlessly looted and his building burnt down for no towards no apparent end, I'm sure he'll be back to reestablish his business in Toledo. If I were him, I would take the insurance money and move somewhere where people treat residents with respect. The thing to do might have been for all residents of Toledo, despite race, color or creed to stand in unity, thumb their noses at the activists and calmly walk away. That would have pissed them off at least and showed them that they were wrong about the residents of North Toledo. But I guess the better idea was to start an all out riot, burn down some poor man's business and steal some Kool Aid. Yeah, that'll show em...

Friday, October 14, 2005


Ok, I know... I haven't posted in a while. It has taken me a good long while to get my affairs in order. Almost instananeously switching your source of income from being lazy and unsocial and playing online poker all day to taking some initiative and talking to people all day is not as smooth a transition as you may think. I realized that I was doing exactly what I told my boss in the interview that I wasn't going to do. I was slowly turning into a clock watcher, happy to get out at exactly 5 and making excuses why I couldn't stay later. It wasn't until I realized that once I got home I was just sitting around doing nothing that it dawned on me. The expression "Time is Money" is actually relevant. I have been working inordinate amounts of overtime recently. It doesn't help that I don't immediately see the fruits of my labor since I am on a salary. But now I have established myself and am so happy that I spent that extra time. It is starting to pay off. Then i realized that I have been doing nothing but working and sleeping (actually dreaming about doing work the next day... I know it's sad). I started to neglect the little things in my life... like my Blog. So let's get this party started. I don't want to go overboard on my first post back, so just check out this article and there will be more to come. I will work on a new "Funny Movie of the Week" after I go out and get sauced tonight...

I knew it!